New year, new you How to chase fun in 5 easy steps

New year, new you How to chase fun in 5 easy stepsNew year, new you How to chase fun in 5 easy stepsAll work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. In other words, if you dont play you become boring. This is why it is critical to chase fun.I choose the word chase because fun is not something we typically prioritize in our lives and go after. In general, our culture rewards hard work, results and achievements. Our lives get so busy and our to do lists grow so long that we never feel we can take the time to relax and play guilt-free. The constant demands for productivity at work and home push us to create routines for efficiency. And while these routines may create calm, they can also create monotony and dullness. Our fun activities can become so choreographed and scheduled that the excitement and joy gets extinguished.At first glance, most people think their lives are relatively fun. They have dinners with friends, see shows and movies, have hobbies and attend events that make them feel l ike theyve had a good time. While all of that is fine on paper, it doesnt necessarily translate to real fun. I mean the type of fun that makes you laugh til your belly hurts, makes you feel young, renewed and energized, pushes you out of your comfort zone and brings real joy to your soul. This is the kind of play that builds new synapses in your brain, makes you feel alive and increases your endorphins.Real fun moves you and changes you in positive ways. It not only makes you happy, it makes you interesting - not just to others, but to yourself.This issue has been coming up in coaching more than ever. I have started to coach people on the importance of play because so many adults have lost the art of it, and sometimes even the interest. Their deficiency here makes them rigid, unimaginative, and boring.The importance of play has been widely researched. According to Sergio Pellis, from the University of Lethbridge in Alberta, play is essential to brain development. For children, free play can be more important than time spent in the classroom. Through play, children learn empathy, how to communicate with others, make plans, problem solve androll with the punches.Play is also one of the key ingredients to happiness. Studies have shown that the absence of feeling bad isnt enough to make you happy. In other words, not being miserable doesnt mean youre happy. In fact, many people look at their lives and think its good enough, which is a mindset killer for play and a fun-filled life.Here is a guide to help you reinvigorate your life and get it back on the fun trackDistinguish real fun from fake fun Be honest with yourself Just because you are relaxing or participating in an activity doesnt mean its fun. Furthermore, what was once fun might not still be fun now. Dont just fill up your time, do something really rewarding.Do something new Get out of your routine and seek an adventure. Travel to a new destination and experience a different culture or pick up a new activ ity. Start a new sport, game or language and if possible make it competitive. Join a league so you are forced to practice and get better at your skill.Be spontaneous Sometimes its the safety and predictability of life that traps us. Some of the best times in life happen by accident. Get into flow by allowing a playful moment to evolve organically.Recruit Others As Mark Twain once said, To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with. Convince your spouse, friends or family to get on board and make play fun. Real joy comes from sharing your life with the people you love. Especially old friends who connect you back to memories, humor, and emotions from your past.Move out of your comfort zone Dont assume that fun is supposed to be easy. Sometimes fun is doing the things that are really hard and that take time and effort. Part of the fun is the challenge. Push yourself to take your game to the next level. Set goals and experience the satisfaction that comes from t he process of working toward them.The importance of seeking fun cannot be undervalued. Look at your life and redefine your meaning of fun and play. Dont be overwhelmed if the answers dont come immediately. Practice chasing fun and remember happiness is not the absence of feeling bad it comes from striving to feel good. In the words of Dr. Seuss, If you never did, you should. These things are fun and fun is good.Liz Bentley is the founder of Liz Bentley Associates.

How Desperation Hurts You in a Job Interview

How Desperation Hurts You in a Job Interview How Desperation Hurts You in a Job Interview Job hunting can be downright demoralizing. You send out resume after resume without getting anything in return. Why didnt the hiring manager like what they saw? Did they even see it?After sending so many resumes into the void, even a rejection email can become a welcome acknowledgment. Its natural for desperation to seep in if it welchesnt already the driving force behind your job hunt. Once you finally break through, parte of your job interview preparation must be to leave desperation behind.Interviewers dont trust someone whos desperate, says Rachel Beohm, a nonverbal communication and job interview coach, who took the time to chat with Jobscan. It reduces your credibility.Rachel emphasizes that combatting nerves and desperation is mora about changing your mindset than masking any specific tells. Nervousness and excitement are physiologically almost identical, the only difference is your thoug ht process.Desperation is a symptom of need rather than want. Interviewers will pick up on which is motivating you. Need is desperation, want is joy and enthusiasm and passion, says Rachel. If you can approach it from a place of want versus need, thats going to change how you communicate.Below, Rachel helps us combat two primary sources of need and desperation that can keep many job seekers from having great interviews.1. You need moneyWhen times are tough and your rent is overdue, the instinct for self-preservation can override everything, but you dont want the interviewer to know youre in survival mode.If your entire livelihood is riding on the outcome of this interview, chances are youll do anything to get the job, says Rachel. If the interviewer catches on, you lose credibility. You say, This is the perfect job for me, but theyre not necessarily going to believe it or any other claims you make.Rachel shares a story from her former consulting firms hiring experiences in which an ideal candidate nailed the phone interview only to blow it as soon as the in-person interview began. Why do you want this job? asked the interviewer. Well, began the applicant, I need a job.That was it, recounts Rachel. The interview was over. The firm wasnt about to hire someone who only wanted the job because they needed any job.That said, sometimes it is a matter of needing any work. How can applicants in this situation approach ajob interview sincerely?Do a little bit of research, says Rachel. Find something about either the company, the work, the product, the location, whatever it is, find something about it that you can get behind that is real and personal and then communicate that.2. You need this job to be happy or advance your careerDesperation can interfere even when its not a matter of putting food on the table. When a dream job or great career opportunity seems within reach, a common trap is to get too attached, believing that this job is the key to personal or professio nal fulfillment.You dont want to have your whole identity and happiness and sense of self-worth riding on the outcome of that one specific interview, says Rachel. You need to be present and grounded in order to go in and have a good interview, which means you need to be aware that this is one out of many opportunities.Rachel believes the key to this is striving to be 100% invested, 0% attached. Its a matter of surrendering control.Whether or not they choose you, that is outside of your control, so you let that go, she says. What can you control? Showing up and just being yourself, and accessing your expertise and your excitement and your experience.Jobscan thanks Rachel Beohm for her time. Find more communication tips on her nonverbal communication blog.Get your resume in front of the people that matter by utilizing Jobscans resume optimization tools, then study up on common job interview questions and use Rachels job interview tips to make yourself, as she says, someone who shows u p fully, is grounded, real, confident, credible, but not attached.

Vanessa Helmer - The Balance

Vanessa Helmer - The BalanceVanessa Helmer - The Balance